Me and my brothers
by edwardandbella4evah
Summary: Isabella and her brothers lost their mother,and their father, and she and her older brother matt dot get along so well. what more can happen in their tragic lives? read and find out. certain outsiders parts inside. R&R please
1. Introductions and the Story Begins

_**HELLO PEOPLE!! crickets chirping Anyway this is a story I have been working on since may and I wrote this everyday after school. My computer malfunctioned and restarted itself so I lost EVERYTHING!! anime crying so my point is that it may take awhile to update this since I have to write this all over again -- hope u like this!**_

_Once upon a time there was a girl who has a perfect life, a perfect family, and she was the best girl ever!_

I'm still looking for that girl, cause she defiantly ain't me.

Anyways let me tell you a little about me.

My name is Isabella Bethany Brier. I go by Bella but my brothers call me Bells. I'm 13 years old. I have long straight brown hair and sparkling green eyes that bright up when I'm happy.

My oldest brother Matt is 20 years old. Let me tell you something. He is NOT my favorite brother of all time. He is always telling me to do things and he is so naggy! I bet he thinks I'm a waste of space. He always treats me like I'm another mouth to feed and I bet…he doesn't love me at all. He is always expecting me to do my work and he expects to make something out of me. Yeah, right. He is just pissed that he didn't get to go to college because he has to take care of me and my brothers. Matt has straight bronze hair that is always neat and clean, he also has black eyes that can burn hard but can also be very soft.

Next comes my brother Damien. He is 18. Damien is quiet but kind and he is smart too. Damien has black long shaggy hair and sad puppy dog caramel eyes that are always sad but kind. He also has a small studious smile.

Then comes my favorite, Jasper, Jazz for short. Jazz is 16. Jazz has blond hair that has a curl to it and the cutest happiest cerulean eyes. He has he happiest smile you have ever seen. Jazz is always nice to me, ever since I was a kid. We have to share a room, and ever since I was a little girl whenever I didn't feel well or when I had a nightmare, he would always come into bed and keep me company while I slept, and it made and still makes me feel a whole lot better.

My brothers and me have a unique bond, ever since my mom died when I was a kid.

It was so strange living in a house full of older boys, they tried their best to support me. Matt used to be much kinder then and Damien was less studious. Jazz was still my Jazz.

It became weirder for us since dad died two years ago, meaning new cold hearted less caring Matt and more quiet and shy Damien.

God how things have changed.

We didn't grow up on the best side of town, the part where old perverted men and drunk teenage boys going around and beating kids up and getting young girls like me pregnant.

Don't worry about me. My brothers protect me pretty well most of the time.

They are damn good fighters.

That's part of the reason Matt is yelling at me all the time, stuff about don't walk out alone or be careful where you are at night and always have someone out walking with you.

Puh-leeze, big whoop.

I mean god overprotective much?

Like now. I'm walking out alone because I wanted to go read in the park.

Just now I'm walking home.

I didn't notice the brown old beat up car slowly stalking behind me…


	2. The Fight

I turned around and saw the car with five big drunk teenage boys coming out.

They started to go towards me.

I started to panic and run, but one of them caught me and got a hold of me. The others soon surrounded me.

They were yelling insults and hitting me around and shoving me.

I called out for my brothers.

When I heard no response, I started to scream.

"shut the dang kid up!"

"why wont she shut the hell up!!"

I could hear the guys yelling at me, and one of the boys put his hand over my mouth.

I did the only thing I could.

I bit him, long and so hard I could taste the blood in my mouth.

The boy took his hand away gasping from the pain.

I kept screaming and I heard running and footsteps in the distance.

I kept yelling while the boys kept hitting me and yelling at me.

I felt a sharp hit at my neck.

I heard someone in the distance yell "Bella!" and everything went black…


	3. Waking Up and Yelling

**_Boy, you guys are lucky I had time to put this on tonight b4 my vacation because now I just might have enough time to post up chapter 4 b4 I leave…no need to thank me..unless u are one of my friends who I send annoying emails telling u about this..so if u are one of them…WORSHIP ME!! BWAHAHAHAHA!! (jkjkjk)_**

I woke up to a soft murmuring and someone stroking my face.

I opened my eyes and blinked to see Jazz stroking my face.

He whispered to me "so you're finally awake huh?"

I bolted up, but sank back down in my bed (which by now I realized I was in) because of the sharp hit of pain.

"easy babe… you have bruises all over, im just glad to see that you're finally awake"

I turned over to face him better.

"how long was I out Jazz?"

he shrugged and looked at me

"a day…or two"

I must have looked alarmed because Jazz was stroking my face again.

"Easy bells, those guys beat you up real good, you needed some time to recover from your injuries"

I could feel all my injuries now, didn't look too bad, just some bruises and cuts, and my face felt sore and tender.

I heard a soft knock on the door, and I turned towards it.

Jazz answered for me

"come in, she's awake"

Matt and Damien came in, both of them looked worried. I tried to sit up.

"hey guys"

I tried to sound ok even through my complete exhaustion, wonder how that is even though I've slept for almost two days, must be these injuries, hmmm…

Matt spoke first.

"how are you feeling Bella?"

Then Damien.

"yeah, we were worried sick when you didn't wake up after a few hours."

Ah, good old Damien.

"I'm alright you guys, really, but what happened? Did you guys come or something? All I remember is blacking out…"

the boys all looked at each other and then Matt answered.

" we came and you were already knocked out, we took care of those boys easy, then I took you home…"

well, maybe he does care about me…

"thanks Matt"

I smiled at him. He gave me a cold, hard, grim stare.

"yeah whatever…"

Or not.

I must have looked really offended by his comment, because Damien and Jazz engulfed me in a hug.

"bells, we're just happy that you are awake, and that your injuries are minor."

I can always count on Jazz…

"bella what were you thinking?! I mean, didn't I tell you NOT to go out alone!? God what will I do with you if you can't listen to me and follow the rules!?"

Here came the fireworks from Matt, and let me tell you they ain't pretty.

I looked at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry Matt…"

he glared at me before telling me

"well sometimes sorry just ain't good enough" and he stomped out of the room.

I sighed and sank back down in my pillows.

"Bells, Matt doesn't mean to yell at you, he was worried sick"

I glared at Damien.

I snapped at him, "Oh yeah!? Then why the heck does he yell at me all the time and never gives anything about me!?"

I didn't mean to snap at him.

"I'm sorry Damien, I didn't mean to snap at you like that…"

Jazz looked seriously at me.

"Bella if you think Matt doesn't care about you then we need to have a dang good talk-"

Damien cut him off and pointed out that my eyelids were falling.

I coulden't help it! I was tired!

Jazz continued "we will talk first thing in the morning, night honey"

he kissed my forehead, Damien gave me a hug and then I fell into the pillows and fell asleep.


	4. Troubles and Cody

By the time I woke up the next morning I could hear Matt in the kitchen making breakfast and Damien watching the morning news and Jazz making coffee.

I stumbled to the bathroom and put on my bathrobe, brushed my hair and secured it in a loose ponytail, brushed my teeth and then I headed to the kitchen.

I walked in and gave each of my brothers a good morning kiss and then sat at the table for breakfast.

Matt set my food on the table then everyone sat down and started eating as well.

Jazz being the good kind caring brother he is asked

"Did you sleep well honey?"

I shrugged and kept eating. "I slept fine thank you"

I suddenly realized what I wanted to do this weekend.

I spoke up. "you guys, would it be okay if I went to go buy some new books and posters? I ran out of good books here, and I wanted to buy some posters to brighten up the room. Jazz can come with me if that's okay. Please may I?"

I added the last part because Matt was eyeing me suspisiously.

Jazz smiled at me "of course you can go sis, i'd be glad to take you, as long as I get to choose some posters for our room"

He grinned at me. I laughed.

"Thanks Jazz!"

"I don't see why not" Answered Damien.

I smiled at him, he tickled me in response.

Matt was the only negative response I heard.

"absolutely not, there is no need, you have plenty of nice books that we already bought you, there is not a need for more."

That was so unfair!

"But Matt!"

he didn't even look at me. "not another word on the subject, end of discussion"

I rose up from the table and ran to my room.

I got changed quickly and went to the front door shouting "I'm going out!"

He was just so unfair sometimes! I mean I told him Jazz could come with me! He is so overprotective! I just wanted to never go back to him ever again!

"Hey Bella wait up!"

I turned around.

Cody, my boy friend of 3 months came up running to me huffing.

He was panting by the time he got to me.

"Hi...Bella…you…were…walking…so…fast"

Aww poor cody. I must have been ranting in my head so much I didn't pay attention to him! I gave him a hug.

"hey, sorry cody, I was thinking too loudly in my head I didn't hear you."

He hugged me back "it's okay Bella"

He walked with me to the park and we talked for a few hours.

Then he asked if I wanted to go to the movies with him.

Turns out the movie was really long and by the time we finished with it I fell asleep.

He must have carried me to the park and put me on the bench with his jacket on me,because that's what I saw when I woke up,that, and he was sleeping on the bench next to me.

I bolted up and checked my watch. Oh god,it was 1 a.m.

I shook him awake and he walked me home, he kissed me at the door and walked to his house.

Now I have to face Matt's wrath…


	5. Bittersweet chapter

_**Okay you guys I told you this chapter would be long and here it is. You guys should thank me. I wrote this on the beach, the airplane, after Disney, and late at night and early in the mornings. So I better get some gratitude and appreciation!! jkjkjk**_

I walked in through the front door waiting for Matt's wrath, and soon enough it came.

Matt was sitting on the arm chair, Damien was pacing around, and Jazz was sleeping on the couch.

When the front door closed, Matt immediately jumped up from his spot. His face looked…well furious…and maybe a hint of worry in there.

" Isabella Bethany Brier where the heck were you?! Do you even know what time it is?!"

Gasp! He used my full name! no one ever does that unless they are_**REALLY **_mad.

I kind of knew what time it was but I didn't want to make Matt more mad than he really was right now.

I answered "no I don't know what time it is but Matt I'm really sorry and it really wasn't my fault! But if you let me exp-"

he cut me off. "Bella, how many times since mom and dad died did I have to yell at you?! And I always hear the same excuse! I didn't mean to! Is that all you got to say for yourself!?"

I couldn't take it anymore. I started crying, but apparently this made him even madder

"Don't you start crying on me, cause if you didn't get yourselves into these situations then I wouldn't need to yell at you!"

Damien looked pleadingly at Matt. At this point Jazz was already awake.

"Matt, don't be so hard on her it wasn't here fault."

"Yeah Matt, she's just a kid"

Matt apparently got **real** angry at this.

He turned to them and started yelling " I am sick and tired of you guys always sticking up for her! She is 13! She can speak for her self, she doesn't need people to talk for her!"

This angered me.

No one should** Ever **yell at Jasper.

After all that we had been through ever since I was a little toddler.

I got so furious, I don't know what came over me.

I just yelled in Matt's face "Do not EVER yell at jasper!"

Nothing prepared me for what happened next. Matt slapped me across my face.

Hard.

I couldn't believe he just did that. No one ever hit me in the family, yelling was all I got.

Suddenly the answer was clear to me.

I was right, nothing nobody could tell me would change my mind.

Matt really didn't love me.

Tears poured out of my eyes and nothing could stop them.

Matt was shocked, he looked at his hand and then to me.

"Bella…"

Jasper came forward as if to hug me, to keep me from what I was going to do next.

I told Matt into his face "I knew it you really don't care about me! i'm just another burden to you!"

Then I ran out, out of the house not bothering to listen to Matt's "I didn't mean to Bella!"

and jasper's "Bella please come back"

I could hear him crying in the background.

I ran all the way to my special tree where it was so high no one could find me. I climbed up and sat on the branches and cried. I cried for Matt, cause he didn't love me, and I cried for Jazz who had to witness it all and for what I was going to do next.

When I finished crying I climbed down the tree and went to the drug store. I took out 20 and bought a huge bag of chips, and a gallon of water, and some crackers and cheese.

I found myself a place to hide, far, far away where no one could find me and then I hid. I camped out for a week. Every day I'd stroll around the park, thinking about my brothers and every night I'd cry myself to sleep.

Suddenly after the eighth day I decided that it was enough. I had no more food and I was starved. I was always cold at night and during the day I was miserable. Also, I missed my brothers, I missed Jazz's warm calm smiling face, and his hugs, I missed Matt's smile, (when he showed it.) and I missed Damien's puppy eyes. And his small studious smile.

I decided it was time to go home. I walked all the way back to my house and it took all day to get there due to me getting lost most of the way. By the time I got there it was late at night. I stumbled to the door tired and scared.

What if Matt was still mad at me? What if he just kicked me out? What if he hit me again?

My face was still very sore and my eyes burned with tears at the thought.

Well if he didn't want me there that would be fine. I could find myself some other family to take me in.

I nervously walked up to the door and knocked on it.

I stood there looking down preparing myself for the worst. I heard someone walk up to the door. I heard the door open and I heard someone gasp, then I felt strong arms grasp me and hug me.

I thought it was jasper. I looked up to see his kind happy face.

I was wrong, it wasn't Jazz that was hugging me, it was Matt.

What shocked me even more was that he was crying and hugging me like there was no tomorrow.

I hugged him back only to see that I was crying too.

Suddenly what Damien and Jazz and my little teeny inner conscious made sense to me.

Matt really did love me.

He was just a little overprotective and he couldn't stand to see me get hurt.

Jazz must have come outside to see what all the commotion was because I felt another pair of arms hug me.

I just let myself enjoy this, loving every second of it.

I don't know how it happened but I woke up in bed the next morning. How did I get here? Maybe I fell asleep last night and they carried me to bed.

Hmm…Jazz was already gone as I could see one side of my bed rumpled and untidy.

I giggled and put on my bathrobe and went into the kitchen. I was starved!

I gave each of my brothers a big good morning hug and kiss and sat down at the table.

Matt chuckled "good morning sleepy head."

Jazz smiled too "And how did the princess sleep seeming as its already oh 11:00"

I yawned. "well I didn't get much sleep the past few nights"

Then I noticed something. There was something troubled on my brothers faces.

And I also realized Damien was gone.

I asked "guys, where is Damien?"

Matt and Jazz froze for a few seconds.

Matt and Jazz came over to me and Jazz said "honey, Damien went looking for you and he got into a car crash, and he …didn't survive"

I felt a ll the blood drain from my face.

"D-Damien is dead?!"


	6. worst birthday ever

Jazz encircled his arms around me.

Its my fault. He went looking for me because I ran away.

Oh god no don't let this be real!

I felt really lightheaded.

I heard Matt say "look out she's gonna fall!"

I whispered "its all my fault" then I went black.

I woke up feeling the couch beneath me. I didn't feel like opening my eyes just yet, maybe to sneak some info that the boys would share.

Later I heard soft voices next to me.

"Jazz you shouldn't have told here so soon, she just came home!"

Jasper fought back. "well she asked! don't pin this on me I care about her just as much as you do"

Matt probably considered that thought because he didn't answer back.

Jazz's tone softened "look I know how torn up you were when she left, and then with Damien you all but killed yourself, but all that matters right now is that Bella is home safe and sound where we can see her and care for her"

I smiled at the thought. "isn't that right Bella?" Oh darn it gave me away!!

Jazz and Matt came over to my bed as I opened my eyes.

I tried to look calm. "so it's real then, he really is dead…?"

both boys looked sorry they ever said anything.

Jasper spoke up "yes, its true, but Bells, it is definitely not your fault, it was a … drunk driver that hit him from the side"

I started crying. "b-but he went looking for me, a-and if I h-hadn't r-run away-"

Matt cut me off. "Bells we all wish you hadn't run away, especially me, but if you were here then he probably would have gone out anyways to do something anyway"

"b-but it isn't fair! I didn't even get to see h-him! To even say g-goodbye"

Matt hugged me "I know baby, I know"

Both of them just held me there for a while, while I cried. It really wasn't fair, he didn't even see me come home. All I could think about was Damien.

Then at some point I cried all my energy out, and the darkness succumbed me.

I woke up sometime in the morning and I got dressed quietly. It was very early in the morning and I didn't want to wake Jasper.

I went outside and went to me and Damien's special place where we taped up a bunch of pictures of us growing up. I found the most recent picture of him and looked at it. Wasn't long before I started crying. "why did you have to go!? Why did you have to leave me!? I miss you, please come back!! I need you!!" I sobbed and yelled into the picture. I took the picture down and held it to my sobbing, aching body. It started raining a few minutes later and I just lay there like that crying for hours. I finally got up sometime later and put the picture back up, and I walked home in the rain.

By the time I got home I was totally soaked, head to foot. I went in the front door and looked up. Both boys looked worried but just stared at me and got the picture.

I went into my room and closed the door. I slept pretty long, about all night and halfway through the next day. When I finally got up I took a blasting hot shower and went to the kitchen, only to find that I wasn't very hungry

. I went to the living room and sat on the couch. Jasper and Matt came in soon after.

"Bella, we're worried about you, you aren't eating, barely talking, and when you sleep you have nightmares all night."

I winced, they knew about it. I sat up.

"so what it's not a big deal" Matt looked desperate.

"it is a big deal, Bella we love you and we want to do anything to help you, Bella you're upset and I want to help you, please Bella"

"I j-just miss him so much, why did he have to go! It isn't fair! I didn't even get to say goodbye!"

The waterworks came again. "please promise me you will never leave me, ever, I don't want to lose any of you again!"

Matt engulfed me in a hug.

"I promise"

For the time being I believed it. Things went by quickly after that.

Damien's funeral came and I had to leave in the middle because I was crying so hard. Cody was there and he tried to help as much as he could. He saw me now more often to help me cope.

Then I got sick, I think I caught the flu or something, but I threw up every night. Matt and Jazz stayed home from every job they had just so they could be with me. I was so glad I had them, if I didn't I would have thrown up all day and probably die from weakness.

A few days after I was sick I woke up one morning and I went to the kitchen, but no one was there. No one was in the living room either, or the bedrooms. The house was deserted except for me.

"I-I'm alone?"

Did my brothers desert me? They broke their promise! I'm all alone, what am I going to do?

Wait maybe this is all a bad dream and all I need to do is go back to bed and wake up later.

And that's exactly what I did. I woke up a while later and went to the kitchen again.

It was dark. Huh?

I thought I turned on the lights before I went to bed.

But that could only mean…

"SURPRISE!!"

I jumped in my spot and turned around. The whole kitchen was decorated saying happy birthday Bella, and there were my brothers, wide grinned and happy eyed.

I rushed over and hugged them really hard and I wouldn't let go.

Matt looked confused. "Bella is there something that we missed here?"

I raised my head "I woke up, the house was empty, I thought you left me"

Looks of realization came on both my brothers faces. "Bella we would never ever leave you, don't you know that you silly kid?"

"I-I know but no one w-was home and, what else c-could I think?"

"Bella, sweetie we went out to go get some supplies for your birthday just so we could surprise you to make you happy"

"you were still asleep so we didn't think it would be bad if we left for one hour"

"now we realize that one of us should have stayed here just in case you woke up, there now honey, no need to cry. Matt's here now"

Matt tightened his arms around me when he said this.

I pretty much stopped crying and looked at them. Jazz smiled at me "now what first birthday girl, cake or presents?"

I grinned wide "presents"

Before I knew it I was on Matt's shoulders and he carried me to the couch, then flopped me on it.

Jazz grabbed the biggest present there and thrust it into my hands.

"open this one first, its from me!"

I grabbed a hold of it and tore the wrapper open, I gasped when I saw it. "Jazz, how much was all this?"

"don't worry princess this is all on me, you're 14 now so I think you should have your own real make-up set, you've had your eye on this one and I know you have been saving up a lot for it so I thought it would be better if I got it for you"

I jumped on him and hugged him with all my energy (it wasn't much).

"thank you so much!! I really wanted it!!" he just grinned and hugged me back.

"I knew you would like it"

I hopped up onto Matt's lap, he looked startled but then he snuggled me closer to him in a tight embrace.

"I'll give you my present later on, now for cake"

he threw me up over his shoulder and swung my face into the cake.

I squealed "Matt!!" he put me down and I straightened up.

"I'm gonna shower now okay?"

Matt nodded and went on to clean the kitchen.

I went into the shower and thought I heard someone at the door but I guess it was just my imagination. I dried my hair, got dressed and headed back into the living room, smiling and skipping, this was the best birthday I've had in a long time.

I studded to a halt when I saw the looks on my brothers faces. Both of them were teary eyed and their faces were pale.

I didn't notice the stout, chubby, professional woman at the door.

Matt beckoned me over.

"Bella come here"

Matt and Jazz hugged me really hard, the lady at the door cleared her throat.

"Bella this is Ms. Phillips, she's the social worker"

I looked up at Matt confused. "Matt, why is she here?"

Matt knelt down to my face and talked to me softly and patiently.

"Bella, sweetie, she found out from one of the neighbors that I-I hit you, and she says she has to take you away to a girls home and boarding school in the next state"

I froze. my face turned pale, paler than the whitest sheets.

"n-no, Matt you cant let them take me away, no! I want to stay with you, you're my brother, don't let them take me away please!"

I was yelling and crying now. Anything not to make me leave! Jasper knelt down to me and hugged me tight.

"Bella don't cry, we all love you, I don't want you to leave" he turned to the lady "isn't there anything we can do? Please don't take her away, I'll do anything!"

She looked completely strict and unmoved.

"I'm sorry Mr. Brier I didn't choose this you did, now Isabella go pack your things"

I left crying and to pack my things, I snuck out to me and Damien's place and grabbed his picture, Matt's, and Jazz's. I took most of my belongings with me, and dragged myself to the living room.

Ms. Phillips was waiting for me she stood up seeing that I was packed.

"Are you ready to go Isabella?"

I looked at my brothers pleadingly.

"No I'm not" She looked curtly at me.

"say good bye to your brothers. You wont see them again for a _very _long time"

I turned to jasper and hugged him hard sobbing.

"please jasper don't make me go, I don't want to leave you"

he hugged me harder. "I'm sorry Bella, I'm so sorry"

Matt tried to confront Ms. Phillips "please don't make Bella leave, she's all we have left, you see we lost our brother just a little while ago, it was very hard on us, especially Bella"

she turned to leave. "I'm sorry but this is out of my hands, come Isabella"

I grasped Matt's shirt and started yelling to him. "please don't make me go! Please! You promised! You said you would never leave me! Please Matt please! don't make me go!"

Ms. Phillips dragged me away to her car. I got in the front seat and whispered to myself

"worst birthday ever"


	7. I Miss You

_**Okay here s chapter 7! Poor Bella…-- Miley Cyrus owns the song I miss you!**_

I lay in bed miserable.

This is my second day here and I want to kill myself.

Let me tell you what happened on the day I was taken away. I drove with Ms. Phillips for a long time while she explained about the home and school, she explained the rules and regulations, but she pretty much ignored me.

I miss my home, my bed, my brothers, and…my hair.

They chopped it all off with out my permission telling me that its for all girls to look the same in the school and to keep lice from spreading around.

They also took most of my things away! They left me three sets of outfits that I chose, a uniform for school, and let me keep five personal belongings (not including hygienic ones) all the rest of my things went home. They even took my make up set Jazz got for me!

School has been terrible. Everyone ignored me and all the teaches hate me already, everyone keeps staring at me, maybe cause I'm the new girl…

I cry myself to sleep every night, and I haven't eaten anything at all, I'm to depressed to eat anything.

I miss my brothers terribly. I want to go home so badly, I tried talking to Ms. Phillips but she said that my place is here for now.

I got an idea. I took out a pencil and a piece of paper and wrote a letter to my brothers.

_Dear Matt and Jasper, I really miss you. Ms. Phillips wont let me out of here. I already tried talking to her into letting you guys visit, t wouldn't work, she said maybe when its visiting day… All the kids and teachers are staring at me and give me death glares. I don't know why, maybe its because I'm new. Did you guys receive my belongings? They sent most of it back…I kept a few things though… so please take care of my stuff. Jazz, they wouldn't let me keep my make up set, even though I told them it was a gift from you. They said girls are not allowed to wear makeup here. I miss you all terribly. I font feel or look the same and I'm not hungry at all. I love you guys so much and I'd do anything to be back home with you. Love you all -Isabella Bethany Brier._

I sealed the note and put it in the post office down the hall.

I decided to skip dinner and head straight to bed. I put on my pajamas and went to the tiny bathroom to brush my teeth and to brush my hair. I crawled into bed and took the photo of Matt and Jazz.

Maybe I would sleep tonight thinking of my brothers free of nightmares.

I crawled into bed and fell asleep dreaming of being crushed by my family's hugs and kisses and squeals of joy. I saw my mom and dad, and even Damien. Matt and Jazz were there too.

And the same song replayed in my head for the whole dream

.Sha la la la la  
Sha la la la la

You used to call me your angel  
Said I was sent straight down from heaven  
You'd hold me close in your arms

I loved the way you felt so strong  
I never wanted you to leave  
I wanted you to stay here holding me

I miss you  
I miss your smile  
And I still she'd a tear  
Every once in a while  
And even though it's different now  
You're still here somehow  
My heart won't let you go  
And I need you to know  
I miss you, sha la la  
I miss you

You used to call me your dreamer  
And now I'm living out my dream  
Oh how I wish you could see  
Everything that's happening for me  
I'm thinking back on the past  
It's true that time is flying by too fast

I miss you  
I miss your smile  
And I still she'd a tear  
Every once in a while  
And even though it's different now  
You're still here somehow  
My heart won't let you go  
And I need you to know  
I miss you, sha la la  
I miss you

I know you're in a better place, yeah  
But I wish that I could see your face, oh  
I know you're where you need to be  
Even though it's not here with me

I miss you  
I miss your smile  
And I still she'd a tear  
Every once in a while  
And even though it's different now  
You're still here somehow  
My heart won't let you go  
And I need you to know  
I miss you, sha la la

I miss you  
I miss your smile  
And I still she'd a tear  
Every once in a while  
And even though it's different now  
You're still here somehow  
My heart won't let you go  
And I need you to know  
I miss you, sha la la  
I miss you

I whispered one sentence into the dreadful night. "I miss you"


	8. Finally! or not

Finally!

Its been about two months and I'm the happiest girl here right now!

Yes I still do hate this stupid place and yes I eat…four times a week, but hey at least I'm eating!

Back to the point… I finally convinced Ms. Phillips to let my brothers come for visiting day! All I have to do Is call them on time when I'm allowed and let the know! Then I can finally see them. And hug them and at least be with them for a day and tell them how much I missed them.

I spent the whole day during school just thinking about how great it would be to see them again.

I called them as soon as I got out of class, but strangely nobody picked up the phone.

I was disappointed. I wanted to talk to them so badly.

I left a message. "Hey guys, its me Bella, have you been getting my letters? Because you haven't sent any back to me… anyways ms. Phillips isn't sure when I'm getting out of here, but anyways I finally convinced her to let you guys come here to visit me on visiting day! Its on Sunday from noon till four. So I'll see you there right? I cant wait to see you guys, I miss you, bye"

I hung up and decided to skip dinner for the night and to do my homework.

I cant believe it I was going to see my brothers!

Jazz's POV

I walked in through the door to our house.

Ever since Bella left its been feeling emptier and spacious so me and Matt have been working extra hard and longer to fill the void and to get money to bring her back.

The letters she has been sending us drives us nuts. After Matt read the first one he went into his room and didn't come out the rest of the day. I think I heard muffled crying, cause I know I was crying.

I just miss my baby sister so much.

I saw the phone blinking, which means there was a message someone left for us.

"Matt! Are you home!?"

No answer… hmm maybe I should listen to this just to make sure it was okay. I was shocked by what I heard next.

_"Hey guys, its me Bella, have you been getting my letters? Because you haven't sent any back to me… anyways ms. Phillips isn't sure when I'm getting out of here, but anyways I finally convinced her to let you guys come here to visit me on visiting day! Its on Sunday from noon till four. So I'll see you there right? I cant wait to see you guys, I miss you, bye"_

I almost burst into tears, I was going to see my baby sister again!

She sounded kinda upset that we weren't sending her letters, it hurt too much though.

I sat anxiously on the couch and waited until Matt came home from work. I just couldn't believe that I'd get to see Bells again!

Matt came through the door half an hour later. I pounced on him and started yelling. "we're going to see Bella! We're gonna see her again!"

He wasn't jumping like I was. In fact he looked serious.

"whoa hold your horses there little buddy, who said we are going to go see Bella?"

I pulled him over and played him her message.

His face went blank and then he pulled me into a hug so hard I thought I would burst. I just patted his back while he was crying.

"I'm gonna see my baby sister again"

Bella's POV

I couldn't wait till Sunday!

I barely slept or ate, I just counted down the days, hours, and minutes till I saw them again.

On Saturday night I stayed up awake jittering in bed, I didn't sleep a wink…..until about 2 in the morning.

I woke up and put on the shirt that Jazz loved on me best and my prettiest skirt, I brushed my teeth and put a yellow ribbon in my hair that matched my skirt.

I suddenly realized what my brothers would say if they saw me…I looked down at myself, I was a whole lot skinner than before, and my hair was short, aw well I didn't care, all I wanted to do was see them.

I went down to breakfast, which I hadn't done at all since I had first came here.

I used up time in the garden picking flowers for them and waiting, then my heart skipped a beat.

The announcement came for all kids who were expecting visitors should come down to the lobby to see them.

I sprinted to the lobby and bounded around looking for my brothers.

Jazz's POV

"you have _**GOT **_to be kidding me…"

I was so furious!

I woke up this morning bouncing in my chair at breakfast and then me and Matt got showered and dressed and we hopped into our car and sped off to the girls home.

Little did we know that we were driving over the speed limit.

In the next five minutes we heard cop sirens.

I sighed and Matt pulled over. The cop came to our car and said irritated,

"excuse me but do you know you were driving over the speed limit? I'm afraid you are going to come down to the station to answer some questions."

Matt looked pleadingly at him.

"please sir we have to go meet up with our sister, she is in a girls home and we haven't seen her in two months"

he just glared at us. "I'm sorry but law is law, now follow me please"

we had to go to the station with him and sit there for five hours answering questions and Matt payed a fine.

We rushed to the home but everyone of the girls there were gone.

We asked the front desk but she said we were too late. Hence the you have got to be kidding me…back to present time.

"Matt, hey look there is Ms. Phillips, maybe she would let us see Bella"

We walked over to her. She looked at us grimly.

"hello boys, visiting day is over…"

"we know but please we tried but we got into some trouble, can we please just see her for five minutes?"

she got very mad…

"no you may not see her! Bella has been waiting since this morning for you two to come, she just sat on those steps waiting and waiting, she has been pleading with me for two weeks to let you two come see her, and now you let her down badly…I had to take her to her room because she was still waiting so long, now I want you two leave, maybe you can come next time"

We walked to the car silently.

I started crying, I had let my baby sister down so badly, is there any way I could make it up to her?

Bella POV

I cant believe it!

They didn't come! I'm so furious!

But maybe…they really don't want me… maybe they are happy that I left… well if that's how its going to be, I shouldn't be a burden to them…

I wrote them a final letter.

_Dear Matt and Jazz, so you couldn't show up huh? Well just to let you know you don't have to come at all next time, in fact don't even send me letters because clearly you weren't going to send me any anyways! Just leave me alone if you don't want me! I'll never come back, just leave me in this stupid place that I hate!"_

I stormed off to the mail box and sent the letter, I went to bed and cried up a storm that night holding Jasper and Matt's pictures.


	9. Home at last

Bella's POV  
Days, weeks, and months passed as I learned to be invisible to me and to everyone.

I kept no contact with my brothers and they didn't bother either.

I ignored life for as long as I could. I didn't eat unless I had to. I barely slept or concentrated on my studies in school.

Its been about a year since I had seen or heard from my brothers.

A year of lonely waiting on steps for my brothers in case they showed up, they never did…after that just stopped waiting and I just spent the day on my room.

I was quick and sudden to the point. I barely talked and I lost a lot of weight. I was a whole lot thinner than when I came here.

Last week I chopped my hair off clean to my chin, shorter than when I came here.

For some reason today my head and stomach hurt real bad. I decided to blow off school for the day and go to bed. My head pounded all day and I moaned in bed alone with nothing to do.

I thought about one day a few months ago where I thought I heard someone yell my voice. I think I was just hallucinating.

I heard someone come into my room.

"well what do we have here?"

I sat up and turned to face Ms. Phillips. She sat on the edge of my bed.

"why did you skip school today Isabella?"

I glared at her like it was no big deal. "I didn't and still don't feel well, my head and stomach are killing me"

"why didn't you go to the nurse and take Advil or some other pill so you could go to school?"

I stood up even though my head strongly protested.

"What does it even matter?! I'm failing all my classes, I have no friends and I hate it here! I want to go back to my old life! Back to my b-brothers!"

I was sobbing now uncontrollably. I finally said the statement that was pulling at my heart for months. I couldn't hate my brothers, no matter what.

Ms. Phillips had something to say to that too.

"Then how come they didn't come see you after all this time? Do you really think they would still want you!?"

I had used up all my energy standing up and yelling, I was swooning dangerously.

"Isabella are you alright!?"

I fell down into the darkness that awaited me.

Matt POV  
Bella's last letter killed us** hard**.

Poor Jazz didn't come out of his room for three days, not even to eat! I had to be strong for him. But that didn't mean that at the end of the day I could crawl up in my bed and cry.

Its been almost a year since we have seen or heard from her.

One day Jazz lost it. He drove over there and walked through the hallways trying to find her. Someone called security and he still called for her. He was thrown out of the building. He came home scuffed up and tearful. I hugged him and stroked his hair until he finally calmed down.

I was at work at the gas station I worked at part time when Ms. Phillips came up looking for me. I got off duty and went to go see her. She looked as prim and nonchalant as when I first saw her.

"ah, Mr. Brier, I have come to talk to you about Isabella"

"so I supposed" What news could she give me about Bella?

"Ms. Isabella isn't adjusting very well to the girls home, she wont eat a lot and she just fainted because she was sick, she misses you very much I suppose"

What could this mean?

"I decided to let you keep custody of Isabella, I wouldn't want to harm her if she stays at the girls home."

I was thrilled, a big goofy grin just spread across my face.

"where is she? are we going to come get her?"

"she's at your house. I drove her up there in my car and put her into bed, no need to thank me, but I will be watching you guys, goodbye Matt"

she smiled a small smile and walked away

. I hopped into my car and sped off to pick up jasper from his job. I explained everything to him on the way. He was bouncing in his seat the whole time.

We got home and sped off into our house, into Bella and Jazz's room.

What we saw shocked us.

It was Bella, sleeping in her bed, but she was different. Her hair was cleaned off short to her chin instead of long and silky like we remembered it. She was much thinner than before which meant she wasn't eating, and by the looks of her face, she hasn't been sleeping much either. She was as pale as white sheets, and by her face, she looked like she was in pain.

We both rushed over to her side. I was stroking her face and Jazz was rubbing her back.

Some thing strange happened then.

She started crying in her sleep, she scrunched up her face, by either remembering something painful or her head really hurt. Jazz crawled in next to her in bed and put an arm around her, just watching her sleep. Bella calmed down immediately and snuggled closer to Jazz, I bet she missed it, wait till she wakes up. I went to her bed to and scooted her over and lay there too. I could hear jasper and Bella's soft breathing which meant they were both asleep. My eyes drooped and I fell asleep with tears of joy streaming down my face.

Bella POV  
I was waking up to a warm cozy feeling.

That's strange, I wasn't this comfy in my room in the girls home.

My head is killing me but less than before, all I remember is passing out in front of Ms. Phillips.

I turned around and felt someone against me. I opened my eyes.

What kind of dream is this? I'm in my old room?

I glanced down next to me Jazz and Matt were smiling at me.

"h-huh?"

"welcome home princess"

I'm home?

Tears fell out of my eyes like there was no tomorrow.

"I-I'm home….I'm home!"

Jazz grabbed me down and held me in an embrace so hard I thought I would burst. I didn't mind because I was hugging him back harder.

I was sobbing so hard, I was finally where I was supposed to be.

"j-j-ja-zz!" he was rubbing my back and stroking my hair.

"its okay honey, you're home now, here to stay"

I buried my face into his chest just smelling his smell. I had forgotten what Jazz smelled like. That's another thing you don't think about a whole lot. When someone dies, or moves away, or you just don't see them anymore, you don't forget what they look like because you have pictures, but sometimes you forget other important memories like how they sounded or smelled. They aren't a three dimensional memory anymore. They sort of fade out of your grasp. It scared me to realize that I'd been away from my brother so long that I had not been able to remember his smell; like he had been dead to me all this time, or me to him. To hold onto him again was like cheating death. I needed to prove to myself that this was real.

Jazz let me go and I clobbered Matt. He was crying too. "Matt, I'm sorry, I never really meant it, I didn't mean the letter I wrote, I love you so much, please don't leave me again, I miss you, I really, really missed you."

He quieted me.

"I know baby, I know, we missed you too, more than you can ever imagine, I wont ever let you leave again."

Jazz was hugging me too. We just lay there like that for a long time, I didn't care, I just snuggled closer to them, I had forgotten what it was like to be loved. I needed to be with the people I loved the most.

They finally pulled away to look at me.

Jazz pulled me to his chest and whispered to me "Hey Bella what happened to your pretty hair?"

I blushed hard, and I wished I never cut it off to begin with.

"I n-never meant to, it was short when I was first in he girls home, I g-guess it was to prove to myself that I didn't care about what happened to me anymore."

Matt stroked my hair. "Its okay, you can grow it back, I need my Bella back, not the girls home's Bella."

I smiled. "that sounds nice… Matt, Jazz…I love you, you both know I didn't really mean what I said in my letter, I was just really mad, I wanted to see you and you let me down, please forgive me"

Matt looked sadly at me. "oh Bella, we love you, if you promise to start eating again and be our Bella I'll forgive you"

I just smiled and snuggled closer to his arms, which meant a definite yes. I fell asleep with both their arms around me.

The next night, when Jazz and me were in bed he asked me

"what did you do in the girls home?"

I turned over so I didn't face him "nothing, just school and boredom"

He made me face him "Hey I got one thing to do so I'll forgive you for that terrible letter"

"hmm…what's that?" I muttered sleepily.

He held my arms with one hand and with the other he tickled me hard.

"huh? Ack! Jazz! Jasper!- s-s-stop it!!-that-tickles!"

I was laughing like crazy, he knew all my weak spots.

I heard Matt wake up and come to the room. He pulled me from Jazz's grasp.

I scrambled into his arms. "oh thank god for saving me! He was killing me!!" he chuckled and put his arms around mine tightly.

"who said I was saving you?"

oh no… now Jazz with both arms free tickled me everywhere.

"c-come one Jazz stop it! P-please!, Matt c-come on! Help me o-out here!"

Matt laughed and tried to shift his arms to make one arm free, I took this opportunity to try to escape, I scrambled over Jazz's legs and I almost succeeded until I heard

"oh no you don't!"

Matt grabbed me by my ankle and I fell on Jazz's lap (protesting and squirming) and was sent back to Matt's arms.

"and for that attempt" he paused for dramatic effect "we shall use three arms"

My face paled and Jazz laughed delightedly.

I was ambushed…"aww c-come on M-matt! Please s-stop!!" I wailed.

Jazz stuck his tongue out at me and laughed more.

"that's what you get for sending that letter!"

Both boys had a blast killing me with their fingers.

They continued this for awhile until they realized could barely breathe.

Finally Matt let me go and I rolled over onto the floor.

I death glared at them. "I hate you guys"

Jazz looked up at me. "yeah, yeah, we love you too babe"

I got back into bed and Matt followed. Jazz and Matt put their arms around me. And I tried to squirm out, but the hugged me harder.

I mumbled "ill get you jerks in the morning"

I fell asleep but not before I heard both boy's quiet laughter.

Ah, its good to be home.


End file.
